Welcome to my little blog, a place where I feel it may be necessary to dump my thoughts as one who stores far too many. But then you're probably thinking why this particular blog should be different from any other? Well I do hope to entice you and anyone you happen to know with an eye for expanding tolerance, leveling out emotional life, and generally helping to advance the species forward as a rule. (But that's only the hope!)
Very few people have the time to listen to someone speaking, and I frankly have had no delight in trying to split the air long enough to catch the limelight, so I've decided instead to allow myself to express myself and reach out to each and every one of you through my favored medium.
You will likely learn things about me as we walk together, and not everything is a sterling silver finish naturally. Life is dirty, rough, and downright primal at the base, but that is not something for us to fear or relish. It is simply a fact.
But I feel I have rambled enough for now, onto my first proper post.
Today's topic!
Faith
All right, hold on right there, I see you reaching for your usual hat (book, lucky charm, or what have you) but I am not here to go on about one religion or another. So just put down your defenses for a moment and try to see things from my perspective.
Lately I've been struggling quite a bit with my own heart on the matter. I used to be an avid church goer for one of the various denominations of Christian churches, that being said I only really went as religiously as I did because of my mother who is of course to this day a devout follower of the faith.
And to an extent I can respect that, rather than continue to resent it.
But the past few years for me have pushed me into a realm where staying in one place on this world is simply not an option, simply unrealistic, and honestly boring to me in the end. But the nature of a church is to maintain and encourage a community of like minds to come together in worship/celebration/dedication/and to soak the words of the leading speaker. (I have not been to many other religious places of worship, so if none of this makes sense to you then I do apologize.)
So where this community is rooted I find myself adrift as a wandering spirit that at best may appear in brief fashion, and that does not allow one to form the bonds of a congregated setting. Instead I've taken what I've learned with me, tucking it like a pocketbook at my side (though not memorizing it but instead focusing on the overall teachings) and seeing the world surrounding us unhindered.
But in that world there has been so much that shakes the soul, and the greatest shame I feel is looking back at the congregations I once considered a safe place to remain. So easy is it for a speaker to spin the minds it touches into spaces of hatred, to narrow the mindset and churn the masses towards an agenda. But what kind of authority does it take to become one such speaker?
You could go on at this point about how they spend money to make money, or the flaws of the religious hierarchy from now till we're all good and dead, but I'm skipping this part for your own personal debate, as often times these sorts of subjects can sting the most intimate parts of our lives and cast doubts on what we perceive.
This is something that's a recent revelation to me, and only from one very special friend did I even become aware enough to see it. So often we're trained, put through our own paces with personal traditions that form from the family we're raised in, and so often we're content to continue along with it without question or hesitation.
But I ask you, cautiously so, what would it be like if you broke the habit? What would you see differently? What's stopping you from stepping away from a life of constantly following? You need not lead anyone but yourself, but I'm curious when the last time you stood on your own bearings and looked towards a new horizon in your life?
I hope this leaves you thinking. For now I will struggle with my own truths about obedience and my connection with a higher power. Perhaps one day it will be as easy as it once was, but I don't expect it to be so.
I wish you all a pleasant lifetime!
